It never ceases to amaze me how reading the Bible can give me an attitude adjustment! I was all set in my mind and heart, I had my topic all picked and was set out to prove others they were in the wrong. I grabbed my well worn Bible and sat down with paper and pen ready to gather my ammunition for battle. I scoured through my concordance, but to not avail. I was not finding the verses I needed. So next step? Tom's Bible! Yes! He has as a huge ESV that contains way more information than one person could ever retain. I know his Bible will have what I need! I was wrong again. I could not any scriptures that fit what I wanted to say. If you are reading this carefully, then you just caught that last part "of what I wanted."
So I go to the newest technology. . . THE INTERNET, our largest resource that can quickly dispense information in less time than a blink of the eye. I simply type in a short phrase and hit search and PRESTO - thousands of sites are at my disposal. I'm elated to find so many sites that will fit what I have been looking for. God has a way of working things out for His glory, because as soon as I look at the first site the Holy Spirit is speaking to me. I am fighting this internally and ask myself, "How can I be wrong?"
"I did the right thing, didn't I?"
I know and feel at peace that I did the right thing; however, my attitude was not of Christ. I had a gentle reminder that our greatest commandments are to "LOVE GOD LOVE OTHERS". I know my attitude was the farthest thing from showing love.
A old wise saying came to mind as I was reading through scripture verses. "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all." This very wise saying can be stemmed from 1 Peter 3:8-11 " Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. 9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 10 For, “Whoever would love life and see good days
must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech. They must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it." (NIV)
Even though my actions were right for my beliefs; my mouth and attitude were very wrong.
It's a great thing to know that God does not keep record of wrong doing (1 Cor. 13) because God is LOVE. I would be in serious trouble if this were not true! I have learned a valuable lesson and I am so grateful that I have such a wonderful, gentle Teacher.
"My life is in your hands," she says weepingly on the phone. Talk about tugging on those heart strings!
"Yes, Grandma. I know. I'll take care of you," is my somber reply.
I have been her "go to girl" for about six years now and increasingly so the past few years. She often comments to others "I don't know what I would do without her." That comments warms my heart and I just feel simple pleasure that I can payback all she has done for me the past forty (almost forty-one) years.
Small things like setting her answering machine, clocks, microwave, nightlight timers were things I would do for her. Now that she is in adult foster care home my repsonsibilities have slightly shifted. Those tasks are no longer mine; however, I do still assist with various doctor, hair, eye, ear appointments and all her paperwork and mail.
She tells me that she is due for a haircut and would like it this week. A little demanding? Sometimes she can be, but that just reminds me where I get that character trait. I remind her that it's only been a month and she wants to argue about that. So I simply tell her that I will call and see what her hairdresser has available. That answer appeases her!
She really had an agenda in her mind and admitted she wanted her hair done before my mother made it down again.
Her statement was "So your mom knows I'm being taken care of." I chuckle on the inside because really what she is saying is "I want to get out." You would have to know my grandmother to know how to translate her words. I know her very well!
I'll be the good granddaughter and make the call and get her scheduled for her haircut. Let's face it if you are a girl then you know that having your hair done just lifts your spirits! She deserves the dignity of looking and feeling good as much as she is able.
I muster up my inner courage as I drive to my grandmother's new place of residence. My heart is breaking on the inside because she can no longer live in her home of fifty-eight years. She requires more monitoring and assistance with simple daily activities. So the only logical solution was to relocate her to a place where she can be cared for at the level she requires.
Today she has an eye appointment. I am the one who gets to assist in taking her. This is a critical appointment for her and could result in bad news. Her eyes have deteriorated much with Macular Degeneration. The doctor could very well claim her to be "legally blind". She is well aware of her failing eyesight because the books she loves to read are no longer an option.
Part of my perks in being the local granddaughter was picking out large print books for my grandma at our local library. I would peruse the shelves in the Large Print section searching for Westerns and Mysteries, these were her favorites. I would quickly skim the synopsis on the back cover to determine if it would be a good one for grandma. She would let me know what books she enjoyed. She has never had a problem voicing her opinion. I guess I get that character trait from her! Her days of reading have come to a close. The large print is not legible for her poor eyes. One of her favorite pastimes is no longer available due to her deteriorating eyes. I am heartbroken for her once again!
We sit there together at the doctor's office and she asks me, "What is going to happen to my eyes?" This is now my moment of truth. Do I give her the honest answer or do I sugar coat it? Of course I respect my grandmother and the dignity she deserves. I let her know the end result of her disease will be blindness. She is aware of this, she had a friend who had this disease and she has been told in the past what will happen. She confides in me, "I hope I go before then." In all honesty I hope that for her as well. Watching a loved one slowly decay in front of you is not an easy thing. I am very proud of my grandma for all those years she lived independently. I am going to give her the dignity she deserves!
On our way back I surprise her with a coke from McDonald's; that made her day so much brighter! It's the small things now that make a difference. I am going to keep up with the small things!
I see her sitting there dozing in her big black comfy chair. Never before would you she let you catch her catnapping, but the years have taken a toll on her body. The once smooth skin is full of wrinkles, the dark brown hair is now snow white, the body that could move quickly now is in pain by merely sitting and the mucsles that could lift and move objects now have a hard time just moving her body.
Instead of the hard working busy grandmother that she has always been, she has now become what I like to call a "Lady of Leisure". I love that lady dozing in her chair! My heart aches for her as she can no longer reside by herself. It was her deepest desire to grow old gracefully and independently.
She loves her little two bedroom bungalow that sits on a hill. She has many memories stored from living in the same place for over sixty years! She and her husband raised their two children, she mourned the loss of their son, the death of her husband, the birth of grandchildren and not to mention the dogs that had become part of her family. The annual garden that was located behind the house gradually decreased in size as her ability to care for the garden decreased. Her lilac bushes were her pride and joy and the fact she continually fed the birds all year long. The small menial tasks of pruning and filling the bird feeder became difficult and basically impossible for her body to perform.
Her home can no longer be her residence. The body has aged much in 91 years and now requires more care and attention. She now requires monitoring of medicine and personal care. This obvisiously can not happen in her home alone. She has been relocated to a home where she can be monitored. Fortunately, the place allows for her to feel somewhat independent, but yet she knows she is being taken care of by them. She has her favorite pictures on the walls in her pink spacious bedroom along with her two favorite chairs. I catch her frequently in her big comfy chair just dozing.
Whoever came up with the saying "growing old gracefullly" did not grow very old. If you have had to take for an elderly or maybe you currently are then you know it's far from the truth. The saying should be "growing old with dignity"! My grandmother has done that well. She has been independent for over 20 years after my grandfather died. She could do many things without assistance for many of those years. Her body slowly declined in the past 5 years, but through it all she has kept her dignity. I intend to honor her dignity as her body declines in the next years or months. She has served others selflessly for years so in return I can make sure she continues to grow old with dignity. If you are caring for an elderly please consider my more recent saying "growing old with dignity" and try to honor them in that way.
I am sure you are thinking that by reading the title I am going to write about packages. It is that time of year when we are buying gifts and sending them out to loved ones. But alas, NO! This is about our human life. The human life is fragile. God did not design us for immortality, but rather as mere mortals.
I have recently gone through watching a loved one pass away. My step sister, Pam, was only 52 years old. She never married, but loved children. I have great memories of her when I was young. She was a great gymnast and we would move all the furniture in the living room to make room for Pam to teach us gymnastics. We had a blast, those were great times. Pam also loved playing the guitar and she had a wonderful voice. Since she was twelve years older than myself she had moved out, but she would visit often.
The past several years for Pam were more difficult for her. She had developed some medical issues. The doctors were watching her closely since she opted out of having surgery. Time took its toll on her little body and she ended up passing away just Monday November 28. It was a sad ordeal to watch her lay there hooked up to bags and tubes. It was much worse to watch her twin sister try to cope with knowing she was losing that bond.
I found great peace in knowing that Pam no longer suffers and I know she had accepted Christ as Saviour. I think that makes death so much more acceptable for the loved ones left behind.
My greatest urge is for others not to avoid going to the doctors if you are seriously ill and even more consider all options of your medical issues. God gave us these temporary bodies here on Earth and gave us some guidance with taking care of our bodies. In 1 Corinthians 6 verses 19 and 20 we are reminded that our bodies are a temple of Christ and we are to honor God with our bodies. So that means taking care of it. Our human bodies are fragile, they were designed by our Creator that way and we need to take that seriously.
We live in town so our land is not nearly as large as those who live out in the country; however, we do have a fairly decent lot size. The neighborhood kids tend to gather in our yard for a game of capture the flag, football, soccer or whatever they dream up.
Last year we did our pumpkin carving outside and some of our neighbors came to join in the fun. We had a grand time! As the pumpkins began to rot we threw them in our big leaf burning pile. We had diminished the pile down before tossing the pumpkin remains in, but as you are all aware leafs come down every fall!
This past summer a curious looking vine started to emerge from the leaf pile. I was excited because I thought it was going to be watermelons. It wasn't just a weed, that I knew. My neighbor told me it could be pumpkins. She asked if we had tossed anything into our pile and I told her it could be pumpkins or watermelons. It was exciting to see the development of our surprise plant!
Then it started to bear fruit! The kids were amazed and we would check on the growth of mystery plant very often. We still were not quite sure if we had watermelons or pumpkins. The fruit began to develop even more and fortunately my neighbor has a pumpkin book and we were able to quickly decipher that we indeed had pumpkins growing in our leaf pile!
I told my neighbor that this would make great lessons in our life's journey.
These seeds were thrown into this pile and went thru fire, rain, snow and all sorts of conditions and what did we enjoy from their perile? Three great looking pumpkins for us to enjoy this fall! If we as Christians can go through our trials under all sorts of pressure and nasty conditions what we will look like at the outcome?
The Old Testament book of Malachi talks about God being like refiner's fire. In Chapter 3 verse 2 it states, "But who can endure the day of his coming? Who can stand when he appears? For he will be like a refiner's fire or a launderer's soap." Our God will refine his believers to make us more pure. We can have a greater outcome bearing more fruit like our pumpkins.
I awoke Friday morning to the voice of my husband declaring, "We are going out on a date tomorrow night." I was surprised at this and commented, "Really?"
He replied, "Yes, it's been a long time since we've had a date night."
This was very true. We have three kids which are homeschooled, they have activities, we lead our Junior High at our church and plus we help take care of my very elderly grandmother. So you can read just from this list that we have not made a "date night" a priority.
We had been talking about our date night during the day on Friday and both agreed how much we were looking forward to it. Then his phone notifies him of a text message.
A friend had an extra ticket for the U of M game for that Saturday as was inviting Tom. Wow! A free ticket to a game at the Big House! What a dilemma for a guy to be in! My husband amazed me as he tossed the idea around and my two sons were witnessing this whole ordeal. My husband texted his buddy back thanking him for the offer; however, he had made plans with his wife. Now for all the women reading this don't go question your husband or go ahead, just don't get mad at his answer.
I felt cherished! He had given up a great deal just for me. I am very thankful for the decision he made, but even more thankful that my two boys could see this. My husband lived out the scripture found in Ephesians 5:28 "In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself."
My husband his love towards me by passing up U of M football tickets.
I would love to tell you that we had a great date night Saturday night; unfortunately that was not the case. I ended up with a migraine that ended my evening in the quiet sanctuary of my bedroom. However, my husband did not hold a grudge. He poured out more love for me by assisting my needs for pain medication and my pick for dinner. I am so thankful for the man I married and his Godly characteristics he has inherited from our Heavenly Father.
I am truly cherished!
